Just saw a movie on the old free-to-air telly (if I call it that, people think I have cable) called PLAYING BY HEART. It asked me to believe that Sean Connery and Gena Rowlands were the parents of three daughters, Madeleine Stowe, Gillian Anderson and Angelina Jolie. And these daughters hooked up with Dennis Quaid, Jon Stewart and Ryan Philippe respectively. I couldn’t accept this all-star family for even a nano-second. I can barely believe those people comfortably getting through the entrée at a dinner party.
In what Universe can Stowe, Anderson and Jolie be related? It’s idiotic.
Hmmm, they’re actors you say? And it’s only a movie. And we have to accept the casting of unrelated actors as family members every time we see a film? Good point. (Although one of the few good things about ED-TV was casting Woody Harrelson and Matthew Mcconaughey as brothers. You bought it.)
Which brings me to this. As Chili Palmer turned his back on the evil world of the movie business for the wholesome world of the music business (in BE COOL the sequel to GET SHORTY), so must I.
As you all know, I’ve been in a concept band for some years now. We have been called many things (e.g. Chargé D’affaires, Bonded Courier and Envelope Franking Machine) but for now, our working title is To Be Continued.
The mission of the next month or so is to create a new sound. Something that will get the kids dancing in the streets while keeping Granny’s toes tapping when she picks up the dry-cleaning for her daughter who is trying to move from her job in Real Estate to becoming a Life Coach. Maybe that’s too much detail.
You know what I’m talking about, don’t ya? Maroon F—ing 5. For reasons unknown to science, Maroon F—ing 5 managed to transcend all age barriers with their album “Songs For Freaking Jane” (don’t put that precise title through a search engine, I added “freaking”).
So I want to co-opt that wheedling annoying safe pop sound for the new band (see last post re:plagiarism) and shift millions of units of our debut album, “What is it with Women and Shoes?” I’ve even got the the cover image picked out. An old news photo of the former First Lady of the Philippines, Imelda Marcos’s famous wardrobe of 3000 pairs of shoes.
I’m working on a couple of songs right now. One is called “Issue A Denial” which refers to my theory that often it’s better to issue a bogus denial for something one didn’t do, rather than putting out a press release. Thus, “Mr Trivia denies that his new album “What is it with Women And Shoes?” contains satanic lyrics opposing the confirmation of Samuel Alito to the US Supreme Court” – is more likely to get To Be Continued the attention we crave, than a straight-forward media release, will.
Stayed tuned people. And get your iPods ready.
Elevate the Insignificant