Culture

Don’t F__k with the D-Man

Y’know Zeitgeisters,

It’s easy to laugh at the screwed up lives of former child stars. So easy that this blog has thus far refused to stoop so low. However the antics of former child star Dustin Diamond, who played the character of Screech in the ’90s teen series Saved by the Bell, are too damned weird and I have decided to break my own rule.

Diamond has a beef against a man called Arthur Girlado whom he blames for forcing him into foreclosure on his property. He impugns Giraldo’s professionalism and says “Let’s face it, if he can’t find the time to work on a mortgage for a famous celebrity, how will he handle the average person?”

This is probably not the best way to get people behind one’s cause, but does show the requisite delusion we have come to expect from former child stars. But maybe I’m being too harsh because Diamond then busts a move only available to a “famous celebrity”. As he says,“One phone call later I was telling the Stern show what had happened. Time to pay the piper Arthur. You shouldn’t have f…ed with the D-man”.

There’s more in this vein until Diamond ends with a puzzling rallying cry, “First we rallied to Free Wynona. The next time we Voted For Pedro. This time we’ll Save Screeech’s House!”

The short version of this tale is that Diamond is attempting to raise money to save his home from foreclosure by selling t-shirts on the ‘net. For the long version click here.

Now all together:

It’s alright ‘cause I’m saved by the bell…
It’s alright ‘cause I’m saved by the bell…

Elevate the Insignificant!

Mr Trivia

P.S: I know this will sound churlish, but not all child stars have to run off the rails. Shirley Temple (later Shirley Temple Black) had to create a life for herself as an adult. Among other things she founded the International Federation of Multiple Sclerosis Societies, was a foreign affairs officer to the State Department and served as a US Ambassador to the United Nations and to Ghana .

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