Culture

Fantasy Bostwick #2


Desi, the only man who holds a candle to Bostwick

Hey Zeitgeisters,

I’m working on my new website which will be live some time in this decade. In it, I shall run further scenarios in which I imagine my life If I were Barry Bostwick, the famed American actor of THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW and SPIN CITY.

Some have questioned my seeming obsession with the man whom many have mistaken for me, on-line. The more I learn about Barry, the more I realised that confusing me with him is akin to being mistaken for the Dalai Lama or perhaps Desi Arnaz Snr in his hey day (which would be during I LOVE LUCY, clearly.)

Better to be mistaken for Bostwick than say, actor Donny Most, who played Ralph Malph in the nostalgic television series, HAPPY DAYS.

“I awaken with a spring in my step that betokens rather than belies my age of three score. Three score gentle friends! Never would I have imagined the power that I lightly command at what seemed – in my callow youth – like an advanced age. If i am 60, then According To Jim is a sitcom! I look like a man half my age in a fantastic wig! Although I believe the balding prefer the term “hair system”. Note to Self – ask Jerry Stiller who his hair guy is.

I step out onto the terrace and behold the amazing sight that is Lake Como. Flat as glass one moment, reflecting that lidless eye, the sky, then in another moment the wind ruffles the surface to produce exquisite ripples that remind one ineluctably of my days as a driver in the Demolition Derby circuit.

Around the curve of the Lake I see Clooney and Damon horsing around. Something about those boys suggests that they might be working on OCEAN’S 14… I wonder if there’s a part in it for a dapper, lawyer with a mean soft-shoe. Sure, Dick Gere tried it in CHICAGO, but he didn’t have the moves. Not even the cutting could disguise that. Why did’t they talk to an old hoofer like me? I invented Danny Zuko in GREASE! I must invite Clooney over to the house.

The day stretches before me like a smorgasbord of experiences. Dustin Hoffmann faxes me. I wish he would learn how to SMS like Mike Douglas and Catherine ZJ always do. He wants to go to Prague and see a Brechtian Interpretation of MIDNIGHT COWBOY. He’s the guest of honor. Naturally. He played Ratso Rizzo for Pete’s sake! He nailed the part & MADE that film. When the bus drives off and Joe finds Rizzo dead in his seat from consumption – I cried every single time I saw it!. Oh, by the way *Spoilers Ahead* or rather behind, if you’ve never seen the film.

I fax Dustin, yes, and ask if I can bring Debra Winger. That broad is the Shirley MacLaine of the ‘noughties!”

Maybe someone will invent a MMORPG and create a Bostwickian game environment that in no way resembles Second Life.

Elevate The Insignificant

Mr Trivia

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