Culture

My Dream Job #1


Lamas, Dando and Gugino prepare for PSYCHIC LAW

I was watching MEDIUM this evening (which is basically a more intelligent GHOST WHISPERER) and I discovered my dream job. The boyfriend/husband role in a television series about a female psychic investigator.

TITLE: Psychic Law

GENRE: Supernatural Police-Legal Comedy-Drama

PREMISE: Lacey Del Fuego (Carla Gugino of Spy Kids, Spin City & Sin City) can see dead people. Unfortunately she sees them while working at her job as a high powered realtor in Los Angeles. After freaking out herself and potential clients at a number of homes open (lots of hilarious opportunities for dead movie star cameos in old Hollywood mansions) Lacey decides to stop fighting her abilities and to use them.

Lacey persuades her de facto husband Merrick Fong (Mr Trivia) that their family (their adorable 6 year old Eloise) should up-stakes and move to Austin, Texas where Lacey’s family originally hail from.

At first, Merrick is reluctant because this is Lacey’s third big life change. In the early ‘90s, when they met, she was a criminal lawyer in Chicago. Eventually, for the good of the series, he agrees to the move.

In Austin, Lacey’s connection with her older brother, Police Chief Rick Del Fuego (Lorenzo Lamas) quickly connects her and her special powers with the crime of the city. In a series of spectacular successes Lacey breaks a number of cold cases, tracks down killers and reunites missing people with their families.

Towards the end of Season 1, she dusts off the law books and successfully defends a ghost wrongly accused of murder in a spectacular trial that rewrites US law.

RATIONALE: As you can see, Merrick is hardly in it! And that’s the beauty part. The boyfriend or husband role in these types of shows is superficial. It’s analogous to the girlfriend or wife role in most television drama. So I have a weekly paycheck but I don’t have many lines to remember.

Here’s a run-down of the sorts of scenes Merrick will be in.

FRETTING IN THE WEE HOURS: Lacey paces kitchen, bathroom, backyard, possibly smoking, although she says she’s given up. Merrick appears, slightly disapproves of the cigarette, provides a listening ear so Lacey can say something like:”But why would she go back to the house if she knew the killer was already out of prison?” and then Merrick exits scene with the line, “Don’t stay up too long, honey”.

DOMESTIC DISHARMONY: Merrick does a crappy job getting Eloise ready for school. Right at the moment their daughter spills milk all over the table, Lacey gets a flashback to another milk-spilling incident that occurred in Austin in 1987. Lacey snaps out of it, grabs Merrick’s hand and says, “I need you here,” then rushes out of the house.

MARITAL DISCORD: Lacey and her brother Rick chase a serial killer across a golf course in golf carts. The killer gets away, Disappointed, Lacey returns home to the tail end of a Eloise’s birthday party. Eloise doesn’t mind, but Merrick frowns and generally gives Lacey the cold shoulder. His only words to her are in the kitchen as he washes the dishes, “When is your family going to come first, Lacey?”

So Merrick is a nag and a scold. And at maximum he’s in three scenes a week. Most of these will involve childcare and other home duties since there’s no job in his field of medieval musical-instrument repair, Merrick is a house-husband. There’s the occasional scene that shows overtures to love-making or finishing love-making, but this occurs in only every third episode or else Merrick will seem like a pissed off domestic rather than a spouse. Lacey and Merrick actually refer to it as ‘making love’.

The one and only episode where Merrick is more front and centre is the mid-point of Season 1 when Merrick’s brother Lincoln (played by Even Dando of the Lemonheads) comes to town . Lincoln is killed, and Lacey is on the case, Merrick reverts to his alcoholic past and by the end of the episode is back attending AA meetings.

As I am not an actor and am actually crap at acting, this dream job is really a parallel universe concept. So I’ll have to suss out e-Bay for some kind of Stargate dimensional portal gizmo. I’ll let you know how I go.

Elevate The Insignificant,

Mr Trivia

0 thoughts on “My Dream Job #1

  1. Carla G is indeed hot, Mrs Moz, but I think you know me well enough to know that she must be the full package to be the lead in a television series – like the time we brilliantly cast Famke Jansen as the new Wonder Woman.

    I’d say her HQ was 50% of the answer. If you watch Ghost Whisperer and Medium, the guys do sweet FA. They’re facilitators and enablers at best – I LOVE the idea of turning up on set 2 days out 6.

    I could spend the rest of my time perfecting my culinary skills.

  2. How could I ever forget the time we PERFECTLY cast Famke Jansen as Wonder Woman! I hear that Sandra Bullock and Lindsay Lohan are in the running. Pooh to the former and a maybe to the latter is what I think.

    I have never seen Ghost Whisperer or Medium and I actually forget what I have seen CG in (apart from Sin City) but I do think she is in the Ashley Judd mould except that she is a better actor.

  3. Actually you’ve nailed it, Mrs Moz. Ashley Judd. And she’s cool and all. But since I’m basically retro, I really miss Barbara Stanwyck and Rosalind Russell from the films of the 30s and 40s.

    We shall not see their like again.

    Although we do have Kate Winslett and Cate Blanchett and there’s no way I want to see them on somecheesy psychic tv drama.

  4. Aw I like Medium. I find it clever well acted (well except for those kids. They are on and off) and full of excellent subtle moments.

    I see Medium as being one of a handful of Amercian series that is actually concious of itself and is constantly trying to reinvent or try out something new.

    Other series I feel are like this are 24, Battlestar Gallatica, Heroes(so far), Farscape, and all that Joss Whedon stuff.

    I didnt get into Medium straight away (much like Farscape) but it grew on me and is one of my favourite shows.

    Ghost whisperer on the other hand goes into the same box with Charmed, supernatural, smallville, ncis, and that god awful show numbers. grrr

  5. A spirited defence (geddit?) of MEDIUM, Tim. Perhaps I indulged a little in hyperbole to acheive comic effect.

    The episode I saw was a little light on with the husband role and I realised that this was just the obverse of how the wife role often is.

    Patricia Arquette is always believable even when the situations aren’t necessarily. And Jake Weber who plays the husband is also very good. The two play a convincing couple with a working relationship.

    I am actually not a fan of some of the stories. I find them too implausible for me – I can’t suspend disbelief for this, although I’m more than willing to believe in Cylons that are indistinguishable from humans.

    But mainly I was just being a University smart-arse and getting all ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD on MEDIUM’s butt.

    If such a thing were possible…

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