Culture

Christmas Blitz

Zeitgeisters,

My brother and I checked the Yuletide catalogues. We decided that Dad needed a cheese board with cutting arm and that Mum needed assorted teas. Our parents are a little hard to buy for, so we chose these items based on sketchy memories like, “I think Dad sorta likes cheese,” and “Mum doesn’t absolutely hate tea.”

We sped down the freeway to a place called Bull Creek (The Dog Swamp of the southern suburbs.) There we went to an amazing modern edifice designed to enhance and focus the shopping experience – a shopping “centre” I believe it’s called.

We went to a large store which sold homewares, shiny electronic gadgets and useless clutter. This shop was identifiable by a red circular logo resembling a target.

Every other clueless offspring in the vicinity of Leeming-Willetton had the same idea re: the cheese board. The store had therefore had run out. My bro’ and I didn’t like the look of the teas. Improvising brilliantly, the sibs decided to buy a large bowl for holding nuts that also came with built in nutcracker. And a teapot – because Mum doesn’t absolutely hate tea.

The best part? We conceived and executed this mission all within sixty minutes on a Thursday night. It was mint – actually it was mintox*

Ding Dong Merrily on High,

Mr Trivia

P.S. We plan to bolster the nutcracker combo and teapot with an assortment of nuts and teas from our local specialty food provender.

P.P.S. More on *mintox, very soon.

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