Culture

Nice Try, Spam Robots

Fellow Zeitgeisters!

Here at Mr Trivia we believe you gotta fight the powers that be. This includes Spam Robots posing as real flesh and blood humans. Got a comment today purporting to be from homo sapien called Karen:

I found your blog via Google while searching for ventriloquist dummies and your post regarding Ventriloquism looks very interesting to me. I could not believe the amount of quality material on this site.

The site is extremely eye-catching and pulls the reader straight in, the articles are great quality and are very professionally written. I have seen too many of these sites where it looks like they pay an 8 year old to do the writing – Not this one. Your site is easily the best that I have seen in a long while.

Very good so-called, Karen. But “very interesting” covers everything from “thought-provoking” to “I disagree violently but the unusualness of your world view engages me.” It’s non-commital and ever so slightly androidical in tone and feel.

And there is no “amount of quality material”. Ha! Look around, K4R3N. You’ve over-reached yourself. Who but a piece of my approval-seeking ego OR A ROBOT OF SOME KIND would write something so clearly flattering and clearly untrue!

Then, Kaz-Threepio, you try to build me up by tearing down some fictional 8 year old. Cold. Not very caring. Certainly not maternal or nurturing – which are clearly HUMAN qualities. What’s an 8 year old got to blog about anyway? “Today Russell Barton didn’t beat me up during recess – it was a good day.” And who would pay children to write their blogs? That sounds like something a dead, heartless AUTOMATON would come up with.

All these little comments could just possibly have been the work of a real person, but where’s your personal input Karen? It’s usual when humans respond to emails, chat on Messenger etc., to express a little of our own thoughts, opinions and feelings. For example you might have said, “When I was a kid I found ventriloquist dolls creepy.”

Is there a woman on the planet apart from actual ventriloquist Nina Conti who doesn’t find vent dummies creepy? (She doesn’t use one of those disturbing dolls anyhow.) Is it because ventriloquist dummies seem like a mutated form of infant and this strikes at a bio-psychological conditioning shared by a majority of women? Or is that some specious piece of psycho-babble B.S. I just made up like I used to when studying Mass. Comm. in the 90s? Discuss.

And finally, your email address sounded very commercial, it contained the name of ‘your’ business – why are you commenting from a business rather than a personal account?

Nice try, Homunculus Karen, but the Rise of The Machines will have to wait a while longer…

Elevate the Human Race,

Mr Trivia

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