Vanity Thy Name is Mr Trivia

Zeitgeisters,  I’ve renovated my website lately and I got this thing called a globally recognised avatar – a Gravatar.  Your Gravatar is supposed to be your avatar in every place you need one. If you comment on someone’s blog, if you Twitter, if you mouth off on a forum – wherever you’ve travelled to online and identified yourself using your email address – then potentially your Gravatar could be there symbolising you.

For some years my blogger avatar was this censored photograph (below) from my time as business man in Chicago in the 1970s. We were in the auto accessories business. We made nearly $10 million dollars a year from fuzzy dice and gear shift 8 balls. And everywhere else on the Internet I was represented by the jaunty piece of  stationery you’ll see at the top of this post.

Neither of these things are very me.  And certainly having two non-me avatars simultaneously made about as much sense as a Senator Barnaby Joyce press conference.

It was time to bring together my numerous online outlets under the umbrella of a single image. My Web designing buddy Edwin of Geoffrey Multimedia (who redesigned suggested a cartoony avatar.  You will have done something like this yourself, somewhere on a computer, designing your Mii for the Wii, for example. You choose your face shape, eyes, eyebrows and everything else from a range of disembodied features. Edwin went to faceyourmanga.

He was nearly done when I arrived at his office and I said something like, “What the f**k that doesn’t look anything like me.”  He looked at his work, looked at me and said, “Yes it does.” We got to work on a redesign. I agreed with the nose choice but I thought the mouth was wrong. Wasn’t happy with the style of beard.  Whinge whinge blah blah. This went on for about ten minutes.

In real life, I resemble nothing so much as the Comic Guy who runs the Android’s Dungeon on the Simpsons (aka Jeff Albertson, trivia fans). True, I am not yellow, I have four fingers and a thumb on each hand and I am gifted with Eurasian-ness, but there’s definitely a resemblance. I was unhappy with range of  thin-necked, emaciated bodies on offer. And the ears….mine are not jug handles. I have damn fine ears.

Eventually we settled on the design you see below. It looks NOTHING like me. This Gravatar Mr Trivia annoys me by being a little bit too cool for school. Sure, he’s got popcorn in his beard, something very likely to happen to me, but from his Morpheus in The Matrix shades to his well-shaped peeved eyebrows that say impress me, I want to punch him in his ‘toon face. That can’t be good psychologically.

Elevate the Insignificant

Mr Trivia

0 thoughts on “Vanity Thy Name is Mr Trivia

  1. Thanks for saying, Will. And since it’s you, I can let you into a secret. I use Chaz Dean’s Wen Hair Care system. Wen isn’t a shampoo or a conditioner. Ordinary hair care products strip your hair of its natural oils as they clean. Wen is like a facemask for your hair. No detergent, no bubbles, it simply puts fantastic enriching vitamins and minerals into your hair – and that’s the shine you mentioned!

    How can I not use a product that Jenny Garth, Alicia Keys and Charlize Theron swear by?

  2. I had noticed your new look and had admired it from a distance. If Zeitgest was a piece of real estate, it’d be fair to say you’d OWN it right now.

  3. Thanks @NDM. I take your bestowal of my Zeitgeist Ownage as a rare compliment coming as it does from one who is Bloggie Nommed. Remember the wisdom vouchsafed upon you by that best-selling tract The Secret (i.e. all those stupid ideas you probably rejected) I believe you need to deploy these now to assure your Bloggie win. As well as further cajoling to get more votes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.